We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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