oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
