someone get that fucking seahorse.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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