So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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