I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The air taste purple.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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