im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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