Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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