i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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