It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
