Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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