butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
