I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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