he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
