Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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