Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
