Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
