BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
