you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize