so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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