Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
