Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
