forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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