i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
