If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
