peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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