We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
