Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
