i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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