you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We just shotgunned beers for America
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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