You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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