If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
