false alarm. still invincible.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He told me they were just razor bumps!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
