People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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