I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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