its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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