oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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