She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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