5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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