I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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