Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
