i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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