"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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