sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
