When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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