just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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