And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
my poor anus
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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