how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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