apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
