weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
