google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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