She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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