She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
His hands were made for my vagina.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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