I bet he comes in French.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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