some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Vodka?
Forever.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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