her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
