I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
