Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My vagina is very pro this idea
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
