Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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