you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
