He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i've created a new STD.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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