You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
