Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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